Written By: Rachel Demister Nzangaya & Ron Pride
When it was time for me to go to university I was very excited. I knew I was going to meet new people, make new friends and get the wild life college experience. Three days upon arriving at the University, I met a girl named Unathi (name withheld). Unathi was tall, she had fair skin, in short, she was beautiful and I also forgot to mention that she had curves too, with a well-rounded ass, we became good friends on the very same day. Anyways fast-forward to the interesting part. There was a certain boy that loved and wanted to date Unathi so badly but whenever the boy would ask her out she would always say no. Unathi told me that she had no history of relationships and I always wanted to know the reason. My curiosity grew day by day, whenever I would talk about us having our families in the future she would always change the subject until this other day she decided to open up to me.She used to live with both of her parents. She was the second born in a family of 4 children, her mother a house wife and her father was a full-time drunkard to the point he couldn't even provide for the family as a result they lacked so many basic needs. Growing up in a poor family she always stood by her mother, she would always help her mother to do some low profit businesses to provide food for the family. Every night Her father would beat her mother for no reason, she sometimes was beaten also by her father, but it became part of their lives. In 2009 her mother decided to go back to school, she resumed form 3 which led Unathi to replace her mother’s role since she was the eldest daughter. Unathi went to school every day at the same time nursing her little sibling who was just a few months old, since by this time her mother was selected to university to continue her studies.
Things were okay until one night her biological father wanted to rape her. She escaped so many times, but she had nowhere to go thereby she returned to the very same house each night. She was just 11 years old by then, a little girl confused. Things got worse up to the point she decided to ask her aunt if it was possible for her to be spending nights at her place. A few days later at her aunt’s place, her uncle who was her mom’s brother started to touch her, she tried to scream to no avail and he managed to rape her. She was broken, the only person she trusted was her mother who was away in university.. Unathi held it in, her uncle raped her 3times she kept quiet about it until she started to spend nights at her friend’s house. 8years later she found out that her uncle was HIV positive, she never had peace of mind till the day she broke the news to her mom of what ordeal she went through when she was away, her mom cried her lungs out when she heard about the whole thing. She got her tested for HIV luckily the results came out negative in all the 3 times she got tested. Now years have passed but Unathi is still scarred by what she experienced and she is afraid to have a family, most especially giving birth to a girl child considering what she's been through. The thought of having a girl child threatens her every day existence. she's now 20 and yet she has no clue of what her life is going to be like. She's broken and suicidal, the very foundation of her womanhood was violated before she even became a woman herself.
Unathi is just one of the many girls, who have been abused and violated by men who they are supposed to look up to. I would put the blame on the mother for leaving her daughter to the dog of a husband, but I would be putting the blame on the wrong person. Now and again we would read in the newspaper or listen from the radio about how a father or an uncle defiled a daughter or niece, when the mother had gone to the market or went to visit a relative. A year ago I read in one of the newspapers of how a 38year old man defiled his own 13months old daughter. When my co-writer Rachel and I talked of the next article we will be writing, we called it “Keep your boy child close and your girl child closer” but after hearing the story my co-writer said, I wanted to call this article “MEN ARE DOGS FULLSTOP”.I am a man myself but I cannot turn a blind eye to how we men are dogs. Am not saying all men are evil and nasty, but honestly look around you, you will hardly hear a woman raping a boy but its always men. All in all, their several messages we are trying to spread here, the main one is appealing to all mothers to keep their girl child closer especially those that know that they are married to disgusting husbands who abuse them. If your husband can beat you up, what do you think he can do to your daughter who you bore, if you know you are in an abusive marriage, report the motherfucker to authorities and leave his house immediately don’t think he will change. Once a dog always a dog. I repeat; mother’s keep your boy child close and you girl child closer and don’t forget to raise your boy child into the type of husband you would want for yourself.
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