MARRIAGE CLINIC CONSULTANCY

Can two walk together, except they be agreed?_ Amos 3:3
There are myriads of reasons why ladies decline the proposal of men and we will look at some of them briefly.
1. Absence of Attraction:
Among all the other important factors to consider in choosing a spouse, mutual attraction must not be underplayed especially by those who have strong sense of physical attraction. An average lady has a mental picture of the man she wishes to love and if a suitor doesn’t fit into that mental mold, he is most likely going to get a NO.
2. Absence of God’s Leading:
One area almost everyone wants to hear God speak is in the area of choice of spouse. If she believes that God’s leading or approval is what determines who she marries and she doesn’t seem to hear from God about a particular suitor, he is most likely going to get a NO. Some of our sisters reject a man for other reasons and then lace it with “God is not leading me to marry you”.
3. Lack of Emotional Connection:
When it comes to the choice of spouse for marriage, we all want to feel romantically connected to our spouse. There is a kind of romantic and erotic connection we wish to have with our spouse that differentiate him from other male friends and family members. If this emotional connection is missing, she might give him a NO.
4. Money Factors:
We can’t pretend about this because money has become a great deciding factor in our choice of spouse. If the man’s financial capacity is not able to afford the good marital life she dreams of, she might decline the proposal.
5. Joblessness of the Man:
If a man has no good job or at least something with which to pay his bills and that of a woman, getting a YES from a lady who is matured and ready to settle down might be a nightmare. Some ladies don’t have time to start having faith for the man to get a job. She might give him a NO and move on to the next man that is financially ready.
6. Tribal Sentiments:
If she is very ethnocentric and the man isn’t from the ethnic groups she likes, that is enough to earn him a NO.
7. Church Denominational Difference: 
Church denomination is one of the reasons why ladies don’t accept proposal from a man. If the man is coming from a church that have a sharp contrasting beliefs and doctrines to the lady, the lady may reject the proposal.
8. Already Engaged:
Some rejection of proposal from a lady is simply because she is already engaged to another man and she doesn’t want to double date or withdraw her commitment from the current relationship.
9. Difference in Social Class:
Many times, a lady wants to marry a man of her social class or higher social class but many ladies find it difficult to marry a man from lower social class. The man may get a NO from her if she thinks he is of lower social class.
10. Unpleasant Past :
If the man has a terrible past and the lady feels she can’t handle the consequences of his past life e.g a man who already had a child or divorced, she might say a NO. If she also gets to know from past relationships that the man has some behavioural issues, she may decline his proposal.
12. Laziness & Idleness:
If a man has no job but is also idle and lazy, this is a great turn off for most ladies. Not having a job may not be his fault, but there is no excuse for idleness and laziness. If the lady sees him as a lazy and idle man, he is going to get a NO.
14. Poverty:
Poverty is an enemy to everyone. Nobody loves to be poor; so if a man shows signs of poverty and lives like he is comfortable being poor, then a lady may not want to associate with a man like that. Even if the man doesn’t have money presently, let him show signs that he is working hard to defeat poverty.
16. Dissimilar Visions/Purposes:
Some ladies believe that they have discovered their purpose in life and will only marry a man that is in alignment with their purpose. So, if she thinks that their visions and purposes in life are different, she might reject his proposal.
MEDITATION:
When I feel God is not leading me, am I sincere or I am using it as an excuse?
PRAYER:
Lord, help me see beyond physical criteria and choose according to your will.